Oh Jeeze....

So went to the doc today- guess what beloved readers- I have a giant kidney stone. YAY! So now for more tests and then some procedure where they blast out some radio waves and smash up the thing!

But on a good note, I got a call from my insurance company and they are trying to get my money back for me from that greedy bitch who sued me! YAYAY!

And now, I am house sitting for a friend and wishing I could live here. She lives at the beach and her patio over looks the intercoastal water way. SOO JEALOUS!! So I will just pretend for the evening! LOL HHAHAH

Short post tonight!

PS-Momma Meg, theo is soo cute! I am already in love with him! MUAH!

Sigh....

hmmm today was interesting. Got to go and visit the Coast Guard facility. That was insanely cool!! Got go on those cool orange boats that go really really fast!! Super Neat!

So then I am checking messages on the way back to the office and low and behold, USAA is calling wanting to know about the "accident" that occurred in January. For those of you who are new to my life, back in January, i was changing lanes and this woman ran up on me, well she was going fast and had to swerve to avoid hitting me. She jumped the curb and popped both of her tires. Since I am a good person, I stopped to see if she was ok. So I gave her my info and guess what, she filed against my insurance to get her care repaired. They denied her. So then because she could not get any money from insurance, she sued me in civil court. She won. I had to pay that heifer 500 bucks!! Fuck I was mad!! So I think, "Ok I paid the bitch, now go away!"

So USAA is having to do another investigation because this girl wants more money, from MY INSURANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
So now I am insanely pissed, I even said "Fuck" to my MOM!! (I never do that.) So I called base legal and have to make an appointment on Monday. The nice person I talked to on the phone said that she is pretty sure they can help me. I sure hope so. I FUCKING PAID HER, SO GO AWAY!!!!!!!!

Sometimes it seems one step forward, two steps back... Sigh

Ick Update

Well went for the ultrasound today. Number one- tech was a flake!! She was all over the place, mumbling to herself and clicking buttons. I think she has to spend to much time in the little dark room. The woman needs some sunshine!! So she thinks that she saw a cyst on my ovary, so that is exciting. She also saw "something" in my kidney, although she isnt sure what it is. YAY again!! PFFTTT :P

Changing gears now, I went to church yesterday for the first time in a long time. I spent the hour praying for help. Lately I have had a "love-hate" relationship with the Big Guy. In all honesty, I have a severe problem with the people who think they know what God is trying to say. But I went anyways. I asked him to help me with the issues that have come before me with the divorce and separation. I was really at the end of my rope. I asked for guidance, although I have to say I didn't have faith in it. But He really does have a plan for me. Abit, a crazy-make-me-nuts-raise-my-bp plan, but a plan none the less.

SOOO, I shared this blog with a great friend that I have made this past year. She read the blog and sent me many links to help me wade thru the muck that my life has become. Well, at least she gave me a shove in the right direction. I love you Mo G! You really are anwser to my prayers, thank you...

Today is done. I get to try again tomorrow. I don't want to be a grown up anymore. :(

Scared...

Ok today is a not so good day. (I have those now and then.) I am officially scared of the future. M no kidding wants me out. I talked to him yesterday about me just staying here and he says no. He really wants me to get on with my life. (Or so he says.)

I did some checking on the good ole internet and discovered that, wait for it, low and behold, I could only qualify for about 50K. Yeah, umm, for that I can rent a tent in someone's back yard. FML!!

So here I am thinking that, Hey I can handle this, I got this! OHH NOOO I DON'T!!! What the hell was I thinking, there is no way I can do this. There isn't. I can't make this work. I can't even find a decent rental for less than 900 a month. And for that I have to leave the furkids here. I can't live without my babies. Chance is momma's baby dog!! (I tell him this daily!)

I really don't want to ask my mom and dad to cosign for me. I am supposed to be an adult. Adults don't do that. They are supposed to have everything under control. Which, if you haven't noticed, I don't.

I guess I will just have to trust that if I work hard, everything will work itself out. Someone remind me of this daily please.

Fuddy

Ok so we had the chat last night...It really is over. We have come to the conclusion that we really don't have anything in common. So we also talked about fuddy's. I am not sure if I am ready to know about his fuddy. If there is even one. I don't think that there is because I know where he is all the time. He isn't really one to go out. I told him he has to go out with out the muppet club to meet someone. But I also told him he isn't emotionally ready for a girlfriend. A fuddy yes, girlfriend no. He has a lot of issues that he needs to deal with and adding a girlfriend in to the mix won't help him.

I think we got married because we were both looking for something. I was looking for a partner and a way out of my old life. His dad had just passed about 6 months before, so I think he was looking for an anchor in life. I guess at the moment in time we both fit the bill for what each other needed. But as we have grown up, we have grown into ourselves and have realized that we are not the right fit for each other. We have NOTHING in common. NOTHING. No movies, no hobbies, no music, nothing. So I guess its ok that we move on.

All I know is that I am NOT a loser, and there isn't anything in my world that I can do to fix this relationship. Cliche, I know,but square peg- round hole. Doesn't work.

ouch!

Ok faithful readers, all one of you!! (You know i love you momma meg!)

Here is the rundown for my friday- I have a kidney infection that is killing my back. Feels like someone is kicking me! OUCHIE!!

Next, i made the best bonehead move ever!! - I got the tahoe stuck in our ditch, in front of our house!! Don't ask- I was being lazy and decided that I really could drive thru the ditch. Ummm no. M is very very mad at me. I didnt break much, just the electronic deal that you use to hook a trailers lights to the cars system. Thats what I have a credit card for.

DOH!!! FML!!!

A new life

I want to say congrats my friends Momma Meg and daddy T!! They welcomed in to the world, their precious bundle of joy- Baby E!! He is darling!! He has the cutest cheeks ever!!

Congrats you guys!! I love you!!!