Rembering....

Well today 10 years ago I watched just like everyone else the world change before my eyes. A lot has happened in the last decade. You can't meet your friends and family at airport gates, you have to take your shoes off when you go through security, you cant carry on your soda, etc. And woe to anyone who wears a head scarf.

And just like everyone else, my personal life changed too. On this day in 2001 I decided that I could not live without X. I needed him in my life. I couldn't bear the thought of not knowing what happened. So a month after he returned from his deployment we were married. Do I regret this decision? No, not one bit. I would not change the last decade for all the tea in China. Yes, there were some crappy things that happened, but those have made me who I am. I am not that scared girl who couldn't do one thing by herself. Now I relish in my "alone". I don't worry too often about what people think. I have learned that I can do so many things on my own. I can cut the grass, I can hang shelves, I can weather a hurricane. I can do a lot. (Ok, I don't like eating out alone, but I can win them all.)

It seems as when the country began to heal and rebuild so did I. I sometimes miss my old life, but not often. I love who I am. I am not scared to begin again.

Its been awhile..

Hello readers, (all three of you!)

Yes its been a hot minute since I have posted. Lots of things have happened to me. I am still working towards divorce. X is not happy, but then he never is! LOL

But I have met some fantastic people. If you have been following me then you know all about my Bear. He was a great guy and I miss him lots. I wish him only love and light. I still have my Concert Buddy Tony. I am seriously thinking about going to visit him and see how is life is. He's a nice guy who is looking for a new life. Just like me! His kiddos are staying with him and he has never looked happier.

I also have lost 5 lbs. YAY! I feel like I look better than I ever have! I am so excited. I walk everyday, at least 2 miles. I have done two 5K's in the last year. I really wish I could enjoy running, but that hasn't happened yet. But I love the walking - since it has been so hot I go to the gym, pop open my Kindle and read smut while I walk! :)

But I have had some poopy stuff happen too. One of my Work BFF's is moving. I miss her so much. Lunch is not the same with out her. My baby's momma' husband was injured in this stupid war. He is one piece, but he got his bell run twice. Eff those bad guys!!! I am very tired of this war. I can't even stand it sometimes.

But for the most part I have great days. More great days than bad days which is great!

So I promise I will try even better to post more. I know I enjoy writing this for you all to read.

Time for a New Post!

Well boys and girls, its been a hot minute since I posted anything. So how about a quick update?

X is currently deployed. Doesn't really bother me much. We exchange random emails here and there about benign things. There is still an elephant in the room, but we will deal with that when he gets back. He is still a dorkus malorkus.

So I decided to try my hand at meeting new people. I went on a few coffee meets, but nothing really panned out. Met some doozies though. BLAH!

But then I met "Bear". At first he and I were just "friends". That worked out pretty good for a few weeks, but then he and I really started to like each other more. He invited me to his ball, and we had a great time. We went to Myrtle Beach and were total tourists! We walked on the beach and went to Ripley's. We ended up in the arcade! It's been years since I have played ski ball! Things just kind of progressed after that. He started staying over a lot more. I even introduced him to the G's. Now that is saying a lot there. I don't just bring anyone around my girls.

So we made it thru the holidays and New Years and had a great time! But then DRAMA has to rear its ugly head!

Bear has some baby mama drama. So back in January Bear's soon to be ex claimed that she was moving back here. This totally freaked me out, and I told Bear that if he wasn't careful she would ruin "this" for him. I also told him that I didn't need or want any issues with her. He said he understood. And "She" is something else. She is 23 and stupid. She calls at all hours of the day and night. She is a pain in the ass.
But he seemed to get her under control and all is right with the world. We go to dinner, we stay in, we shop - just basically having a great time. He even stayed with the pups when I went to New Zealand!!
Fast forward to the present- as in last weekend. We celebrate his birthday on Saturday. (SpongeBob at the pizza place for just me and him.) Sunday rolls around, we sleep in. Then I get up and we hang out at the house, go for coffee etc. Just the normal stuff. Well I am making a new recipe for dinner. We eat and then are cleaning up. He then tells me that he knows that I am unhappy with new developments in his life, mainly SHE is planning on moving back to Jville in like three weeks. He is also getting ready to leave to go pick up his son and will have him until SHE gets here. I tell him, yeah I am a bit jealous that I will not be able to spend more time with him once the lil man gets here. And yes I am worried that SHE and her busy body friends will cause trouble for us, but I can deal. He knows me pretty well by now and he knows that I am not being totally truthful. He is right. I am pissed off that I have to share my time. But, I know that this is a battle I can not win. He wants to be a dad so badly and has been cheated out of his time with him. I feel for him, I really do, but Damn!
So he tells me that we should part ways. He doesn't want to be worried that I am upset because he can't spend time with him and I don't want to have our relationship cause issues with his job. So he and I broke up. He walked out the house and told me "I'm sorry."
I have seen him a few times since then, he came over to get some of his things. I really miss him. I miss cuddling with him, I miss walking in to stores with him. (He actually liked to hold my hand!) And now pretty much a week later, I find myself thinking of him often. I will see a shirt in the store and think "Oh Bear would like that". But as in all break ups, I will be fine. And maybe in another time or place we can try again.

So thats the update on the relationship front. Work is the same, school is over and I am still broke! HAHAHHAHAH But, I am thankful for having a home, and having great friends and having sweet dogs and cats who love me all the time.

So until next time....